April Discussions

Discussion 1: Handling Arguments/Disagreements

Hi👋🏾 and welcome to the blog! This morning, I just want to discuss how handling arguments in relationships. How do you handle it? Do you talk things out right away? Do you ask for advice from outside sources? Do you just shove it under the rug? Do you just agree so that there is no controversy? Chat with me about it below in the “leave a reply” or on my instagram post of this discussion! I want to know how you handle it as well.

How do I handle it? Let’s go over it shall we?

I don’t even want to say the word “argument” actually, because I don’t like using that term, so a better word for me would be disagreements. I say that because, yes, my boyfriend and I definitely have disagreements, but I wouldn’t say it’s an argument because to me the word argument means yelling, screaming, and the back and forth where neither person is being heard. We don’t do that. We don’t get into screaming matches to the point where the other can’t be heard. It’s just not something we do in our relationship. Not saying that’s a good or a bad thing or that we won’t ever get in one, we might, but so far we haven’t. Personally, I believe we haven’t done that so far in our two and half years of dating because from the very beginning we set the boundary of “never leave something unsolved” and the cliché saying “never go to bed angry”. I know how unrealistic that sounds but I PROMISE you after both of our childhood backgrounds, it’s something we have scars from and we refuse to bring that into our relationship and future. NO we are NOT perfect, because we have times where I think I’m right and he thinks he’s right. There is times were I don’t even like what he says about something, and same for him over something I say BUT the difference is, is that we don’t let those things escalate beyond that.

I’ve worked so hard on my anger and mental health, and getting a hold on my triggers and what escalates me that I don’t just blow up on my boyfriend. We like to talk things out, hash it out right there in that moment so that we don’t carried it on throughout the day. We don’t let it linger, on and on so we never get over it or so that one of us is still hurt, unsettled, or upset about it. He and I sit down and talk it out right then and there. And sometimes one of us does have to rationalize or compromise with the other.

Let me give you an example. At the beginning of our relationship, I was needy. Super needy. How do I know that? Because my boyfriend told me that. He didn’t like how clingy I was being and how it bothered him so instead of letting me continue to do that, something he didn’t like, he SPOKE up and told me about it. Did I like what he had to say? HELL NO! I even cried about it but instead of getting into an argument and a screaming match, we talked it out, for half that dang day. We both expressed our feelings and thoughts, I shed tears, but I never felt unheard. He made sure I knew it bothered him and I made sure I did things to change. I didn’t want to bother him or make him feel uncomfortable, so I did what I had to do. Another example was the other way around. There were some things he was doing that I did not like and that bothered me, and instead of getting in a screaming match or ignoring one another for days, we talked it out and get it out of the way.

I didn’t even want to go this deep into this discussion😅holy cow! I just wanted to say a few sentences and leave it open for you all to discuss with me but I went off instead😂whoops! SO before I go any further I just want to say that we talk things out right away and do what we have to do to make each other feel heard and understood. We don’t just drop it, shove it under the rug, scream, make the other feel worse, we solve it. We work through it, together, because a relationship is hard! It’s not all sunshine and rainbows. But it’s something that can be handled.

Comment below or on my post to share with me and others what you do!

Discussion 2: The Importance of Hobbies

This is more so me explaining my own opinion and feelings on the importance of having hobbies but I do want you to comment as well, either below or on my post your own opinion too!

I believe that having hobbies or a hobby is so beneficial to young adult/adulthood because it doesn’t give you a reason to stay bored. It’s healthy for you to do what you like to do in your free time. It keeps you from being stir crazy, or uninvolved. I have hobbies that are just for me, for example, the gym, reading, this blog, journaling, playing computer games. And I have hobbies that involve others, including going clubbing, going out on the town, movie and girls nights. It’s so important in your 20s for sure to have both kind of hobbies. Go be involved in things. Go spend time with friends. Stay in and read a book or what a show. Journal all day until you feel relief. DO IT. FIND something you like to do alone and with others. Go to the grocery store with a friend, when I heard that suggestion on a podcast I listen to, I laughed so hard because you literally can just grocery shop with someone and that gets you out of the house and your list done😂a win win! 🥇

What are some of your hobbies? What do you love to do alone? What do you love to do with others? Chat with me! I’m here to listen and converse.

Discussion 3: Summer Plans

What are your plans this summer? Where are you going? I want to know. 2023 is our YEAR to DO! That’s my plan to just go and do. Hike. Kayak. Walk. Explore. Read at the park/beach. Camp. Eat at a new restaurant. Take yoga class. Go to the bars. Beach days. Girls day and night! All of the above. I know for sure I’ll be doing more, if not all, these things. I got a state park sticker, I have a Chicago trip planned, I am ordering new J hooks for my kayak, I have a small savings. etc. I am ready! Are you? 🫵🏾😆

3 Things I’m Grateful For

My Mental Health
My Self Control
My Faith

Remember:

-Don’t let the hard days win

-Your peace comes first

-You are enough

-You can do this!

I love you all! Please FOLLOW, Like, and Subscribe to my Blog, Instagram, TikTok, Pinterest and Linktree (links below) to see my journey and adventures. Have an amazing week!

And that’s the TEE👩🏾‍💻💙☕️

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